What a Difference a Week Makes...

I had chemo #9 on August 24th and it wasn't bad at all on my body. At first, at least.  That weekend I felt well and there was no vomiting. I had heard this was typical of Taxol.  I had little nausea but I took some Zofran and that seemed to do the trick.  My body had retained TONS of fluid.  I looked down at my ankles and they were swollen.  I showed my sister and she agreed.  I then lifted up my shirt and showed her my belly.  More swelling.  I didn't have the pregnant look we were used to, it was different.   She said I looked like Sponge Bob and I had to agree.  My abdomen looked like a tree trunk to me.  A few days after chemo, I started to feel horrible.  I found it hard to get comfortable in bed, especially with my pleurax catheter.  I had to prop myself up with a million pillows.  I emailed my oncologist to tell her how uncomfortable I was and she ordered me a hospital bed which helped so much.  Apria Healthcare delivered and set up my hospital bed.  I was so happy to be in it and use its little remote to adjust it.  My health started to decline slowly and I found it hard to get in and out of my bed.  I was stiff as a board.  I emailed my doctor again and she had me add another fentanyl patch to help with my pain.  That helped.  I was only uncomfortable at times if I leaned on my catheter wrong.  I was now experiencing neuropathy, too.  That's when you get numbness or tingling in the hands and or feet.  My feet felt like they had walked a million miles and my hand felt like I had been holding ice cubes.  I emailed my doctor again and she ordered me gabapentin.  At first, it was making me loopy but now I've gotten used it to it and I can function normal on it.

My awesome hospital bed.

While recovering from chemo, I have to tell you, I felt like hell. I don't know what happened.  I just felt terrible and I didn't know if I could do it.  In one of my many emails to my doctors, I had even told her if we could talk hospice because I was in that much pain and feeling horrible.  She told me to give it a week.  If I didn't improve, then we could talk hospice.  She didn't give up on me.  She believed in me.  And that was enough for me to say ok, I'll give this a week.  She listened to my complaints and gave solutions.  During this time that I was looking like Sponge Bob and feeling like death, I didn't take any pictures and told my sister not to take any of me. My oncologist had me start back up on Lasix to make my swelling go down and it worked.  I lost 23 lbs in 9 days.  It was much needed fluid that needed to get out of my body because I think that's what was making me so uncomfortable. I was hooked up with a physical therapist who came to my home and told me about some exercises I could do in my bed to build strength and to just move my muscles around.  My physical therapist hooked me up with a cane, which I now use to walk around with in public just to be safe because my leg strength is not what it used to be.  And she also ordered me a commode, which I have in my room but have yet to use.  I also had an occupational therapist come to my home and give me tips on how to make things safer for me in my apartment as to prevent falls and what not.  I'm very impressed with these services that are included in my insurance.  Didn't know they existed!

The best part of it all has been that I now have a home health nurse that comes and drains my pleural cavity.  She is teaching my sister how to do it, too, but for now she is visiting me twice a week.  At first, we were thinking that my pleural cavity would be drained three times a week but we noticed that on the third draining that since we could only get 1/2 a liter out, we should stick to twice a week visits.  The nurses are only allowed to drain 1 liter of fluid at a time.  My nurse, Paula, is the best.  She is such a sweetheart.  She answers all my questions and puts all my fears at ease.  When I first met her, I was feeling like I was on my death bed but today, I'm feeling really good.  

Nurse Paula in the background and my pleural juice!

I'm feeling really good, honestly, no lies.  Yes, I did feel like death a week ago and I'm glad my doctor didn't give up on me and told me not to either.  She is the greatest oncologist ever.  My family has come to visit me but I will save that for another blog.  It has been such a special visit that I hold close to my heart.  I was able to hang out and even leave the apartment.  What I've learned about myself is that my body can go through hell, feel like it has been run over by a truck, and my spirit can be questioned, but it remains in tact.  I am a tough fighter.  I'm not going to give up.  It's crazy talk when I say I want to give up so don't listen to me.  My sister has been such a support to me.  She's had to watch me go through this and hold my hand as I cry that I can't take it anymore.  Bless her heart.  She's been there to jump on my cravings when I'm hungry after days of not eating and just drinking Ensure.  I am blessed to have her here by my side in this journey and the support of all my friends and you guys that read my blog and are friends with me on Facebook.  You cheer me on and offer me your words of encouragement that mean so much to me.  I thank you all for that.  For believing in me.  And I love you all for that.

Bathroom pic: This fighter keeps fighting!

Resting in bed with a smile. 

Molly resting in bed with mommy.