Enjoying some coffee and Aredia! |
My close up! |
Feeling like a statue and all fancy! |
Since my birthday is July 29th, I ordered some cupcakes from a cupcake shop and had them delivered to the chemo nurses that Friday during the time that I would be in the chemo chair. I won't mention the name of the cupcake shop because I did take one home for my sister to sample and she didn't give it a great review. I chose vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry cupcakes. My sister had the vanilla and she said that the cake had a cake donut consistency and the frosting tasted a little bit like Crisco. I met this vendor at a local fair and when I saw her cupcakes, they were decorated all pretty so I was disappointed that mine only had a little cinnamon on top. I don't think I'll be ordering from them again. But I will say that the best place so far that I've ordered cupcakes from that have been very good is from Sibby's Cupcakes in San Mateo, CA. I didn't eat any cupcakes on Friday because my appetite has been small and I had drank a cup of coffee that morning.
Vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry cupcakes. |
Close up of vanilla. |
My family at dinner! |
The next day, we headed out to the San Jose Flea Market with everyone. Since we would be doing a lot of walking around and the flea market is huge, I decided to bring my wheel chair and have my mom push me around so that I wouldn't get fatigued or dizzy. I bought a floppy Summer hat while I was there to protect me from the sun and picked up a couple of items. The flea market was a real treat for my family as it isn't something we typically visit. I noticed that people were very nice to me and got out of my way when I was in the wheel chair. Apparently some people had asked my sister what was wrong with me after I had rolled away and she told them I had cancer. Looking at me in the chair, you couldn't tell what my disability was. It's a miracle what make up and a red lip can do for your appearance.
Rolling around the flea market. |
Goofing around at my sister's. |
I put on my jammies once at home and readied for bed. I was having such a wonderful weekend thus far with my family there and it made me sad. I cried for a few minutes. They were tears of sadness and of happiness. I had to savor these moments because I didn't know how many more I was getting.
I must admit that I did a lot of crying when I was alone. I was so touched that my family made the effort to come out to California to celebrate my birthday with me. The only one missing was my little brother who is 22 and couldn't get out of work. While I am optimistic that I have many more birthdays to celebrate, I also have to be real about the fact that my cancer is aggressive and unpredictable. I do want to share very briefly without sharing too many details about my best friends mom who had been battling uterine cancer for the past four years. I met my friend 6 years ago through work and although we went our separate ways, we always kept in touch. On Monday the 23rd, he had told me that his mom was in the hospital and she was too weak to do chemo. Doctors had told her that she had 3-6 months left. My heart broke for them. When i was out and about on Friday the 27th, I received a text from him that his mom had passed away Thursday evening. I shed a few tears. It was totally unexpected. He is such a good friend to me, watching my back all of these years and more recently, taking care of me in my cancer journey and now it was my turn to be there for him. I tend to have survivors guilt when someone passes away. Why am I still here? I don't get it? Will it be my turn next? Cancer is so unpredictable and so unfair. I hate it.
I know my family cares about me dearly. It's hard for me to accept help from them as it's a sign to me that I'm losing my independence but at the same time, I welcome it as I want them to be a part of my care. I manage my pain meds and treatment program with my doctor and I'm slowly letting my sister (who has been my primary care taker this summer) in on this so I'm teaching her about my meds, why I take them, how and when. I'm also letting her know more about how my treatment is going, where as before I was protecting them from my prognosis. These things I keep private between me and my family. I am an open book and share my journey proudly, but I do reserve some things just for me and my family. Everything I write here is from my point of view and when the time comes that I can no longer write for myself, I will have guest bloggers that will communicate to my supporters for me. But let's think years from now. I love writing and sharing my journey so I don't expect me to take a turn for the worse for a while. I am feeling great and just thank God for giving me another day and for these blessed feelings.
I am excited to write my next blog which will share tons of pics and memories from my 31st birthday party. It truly is my most favorite and best birthday ever. These past couple of years, I've been working 2 jobs so my birthdays consisted of working on job then heading straight next to the other. I'd get home too tired to do any celebrating. And weekends were reserved to me and some quiet time so my past few birthday's were uneventful. But I was always grateful to receive birthday cards from my family who alway remembered to think of me.
I am excited to write my next blog which will share tons of pics and memories from my 31st birthday party. It truly is my most favorite and best birthday ever. These past couple of years, I've been working 2 jobs so my birthdays consisted of working on job then heading straight next to the other. I'd get home too tired to do any celebrating. And weekends were reserved to me and some quiet time so my past few birthday's were uneventful. But I was always grateful to receive birthday cards from my family who alway remembered to think of me.
I also wanted to let you all know that I have co-founded a new FB page with another warrior, Tiffany Schwantes, about creating awareness for young adults with cancers. Check it out when you can! It's called "Young, Fabulous, and Cancerous."
https://www.facebook.com/YoungFabulousAndCancerous