Belly Shots

When I was having symptoms back in December, I noticed that my belly was full and distended.  I thought that I was just fat and gaining weight but the funny part about it was that I was actually losing weight.  By the time I was diagnosed, I had lost 40 lbs without even trying.  I remember seeing my primary care doctor and asking him why my belly was so big.  He had said I had fluid in it and he would prescribe Lasix, which is a diuretic, to help me urinate the fluid out.  I asked him what caused it and he said he wasn't sure and didn't want to say.  I thought nothing of this, but when I left and got to my car, I Googled "fluid in belly."  It brought me to the term ascites.  According to Medicinenet.com, ascites is "the accumulation of fluid (usually serous fluid which is a pale yellow and clear fluid) in the abdominal (peritoneal) cavity. The abdominal cavity is located below the chest cavity, separated from it by the diaphragm. Ascitic fluid can have many sources such as liver disease, cancers,congestive heart failure, or kidney failure."  I knew that my liver was fine and so cancer stood out to me.  I knew I had cancer before the doctors had confirmed it.  And I understood that they couldn't say anything to me until further testing was done.

The above picture was taken the first week of January 2012.  I had just removed all the decorations off of the Christmas tree and we were getting ready to recycle it.  I remember telling my friend to take a picture of me because this was my before shot.  I felt fat and I was going to start eating better and working out at the gym.  You can clearly see that my belly is protruding as a result of the ascites.  Also, I had a 21 cm tumor in my pelvic area.  If you pressed on my abdomen, you can feel it.  Thank God today my tumor has shrunk down to 17 cm.  

Monday I was packing for my Seattle trip and I felt that my belly was starting to get big.  I started to take Lasix but I didn't feel it was making a difference.  By the time I flew out to Seattle on Tuesday, my belly felt really big.  I would push my belly in and it would swoosh like a water bed.  I would look down and I couldn't see my feet.  I look pregnant.  

It really does look like I'm about 5 months pregnant.  The pic on the left is from Wednesday morning and the one on the right is from today, Thursday.  Yes, I do have a layer of fat on my belly but I normally do not look like this.  The ascites causes pressure on my abdomen so I can't sleep on my back.  I have to sleep on my side.  It also affects my appetite because it feels as if the pressure is crowding my stomach and I feel full rather quickly.  It feels like a leaky faucet and my belly is just filling up with fluid.  I can feel it sloshing around as I walk.  It's painful and I feel the skin stretching.  I had to take oxycodone yesterday and that helped a lot. My belly feels so uncomfortable.  Finally this morning, I emailed my doctor and sent her the pic on the right.  She suggested that I increased my Lasix to two pills twice daily.  If this doesn't rid my fluid, then she will schedule a paracentesis, which is where they take a huge needle and drain the fluid.  I've watched a YouTube video on this and it completely freaked me out so I am praying that increasing my Lasix rids my body of the fluid.

I asked my doctor why the fluid in my belly comes and goes.  She said that my tumors weep the fluid.  So it's always going to be ongoing.  She also brought up my protein intake.  Sometimes if the protein level is low, I can also weep fluid.  This actually struck a chord with me because I became vegetarian about a month ago.  I know I'm supposed to graze all day but I haven't been eating much.  When you don't feel good, you don't eat.  She made suggestions of what proteins I should eat and said I might want to consider eating chicken.  I already eat tofu and fish so I'm hoping that will increase my protein level.  I also asked a friend about Isagenix, which is a nutrition program, and what shake would give me the most protein.  I figure I could do that for breakfast and the shake she suggested has 35 grams. Sounds great to me.  I do not want to go back to eating meat, not even chicken.  If my liver and kidneys are not functioning correctly, they can also weep fluid, but as of my May 14th labs, they are working perfectly fine.

I've started to freak myself out that my ascites is building up quickly because it means that my cancer must be growing and spreading since I'm on a chemo break.  My doctor eased my worries as she doesn't think my cancer could rebound so quickly.  It's a constant worry though.  I'm a stage IV cancer patient.  Even though I feel good, my body is not like every one else's.  I wish I could do things like everyone else but I'm physically not able to.  I'm working on it.  I've signed up for the gym and started to do light cardio and am incorporating weights into my work outs next week.  It scares me to think about my body deteriorating.  I know it will start slowly.  My organs will start to shut down.  I won't feel good anymore.  I'll have to take more pain medication just to get by.  Hopefully I am months from this...better yet, years from this.  But for now, I'm just hoping that the ascites gets remedied by Lasix and I will go back to feeling awesome.