Yesterday I arrived home from my trip to WA state. I was really worried about my flight home because I had woken up to nausea and vomiting. My flight left at 11:30am and so I had to wake up early, pack, and say my goodbyes. I didn't even take a shower. I just was not feeling up for anything. I didn't have anything to eat because I was afraid of throwing it up. My sister in law, Teresa, gave me some ice chips. She truly is an awesome caregiver and was totally there for me through out my stay. My little nephews (8 and 12 years old) also did a good job of fetching me anything I needed and keeping me company.
It was a short 35 minute flight from Pasco to Seattle where I had a wheel chair waiting for me. My driver zipped through Sea-Tac airport and got me to my next gate where I had to wait a little over an hour for my next flight to SFO. I was able to eat some pretzels and Sobe out of the vending machine with no problem. Once they were boarding for my flight, I walked right up to the podium and asked if I could board since I am disabled and I got on. I had a window seat and popped an Ativan to help with my nausea and just to knock me out for the two hour flight home. Unfortunately, I had a rude lady sit by me who kept hitting me and invading my personal space and she didn't even apologize. Thought that was a bit rude. Luckily I didn't need my barf bag and I slept the entire flight. At SFO, I had another wheel chair waiting for my and my driver took me to baggage claim and then waited with me curb side for my sister. Those wheel chairs are a lifesaver!
When I arrived home, I just went to sleep and my sister prepared me a dinner of rice and corn. I was able to eat the whole thing. I was very proud of myself. She had to wake me up later for my nightly Lovenox shot and pills, but then I went right back to bed. This morning I didn't have any nausea, thank God. I was afraid that I would have to call the oncology department and get fluids before my 2pm PET scan but I didn't. I just rested up until noon when I finally got up to take a shower. I called state disability to see if they had received my paperwork yet and they hadn't! I also noticed that the form I submitted was different from what I received in the mail after I left for my trip. So now I don't know where I stand. I emailed my doctor and she said the forms hadn't even hit her desk yet. I'm annoyed! I don't know what's taking those medical secretaries so long. It's a ticking clock and I am without money that is owed to me by the state. My doctor just told me to bring the forms to our visit on Tuesday and she'll take care of me. Now do you see why I love her so much? She truly is the best. I had also called the medical assistants three times this morning to schedule a paracentesis with the nurse practitioner but no one would answer the phone so I left a message. I also mentioned this to my oncologist and she said she would have her nurse take care of it. I spoke with the nurse this afternoon who said she was still working on it but most likely it was looking like Wednesday I'll be getting my belly drained again. I can wait; not a problem. I'm looking forward to the relief.
My sister's boyfriend drove us to the hospital at Kaiser Santa Clara where I did my PET scan. We arrived 15 minutes early and I checked in. At 2pm, the tech, Betty (pretty, young girl), called me back to the room. She verified my identity, confirmed that I hadn't had anything to eat in 6 hours, and we got started. She did a quick glucose test on me and I was at 100 which meant that we could proceed. She was able to use my midline to inject the radioactive solution. Hooray for no needle sticks!!! She brings back this giant metal cylinder which hold the radioactive solution and injects it into my midline. It was so easy. Betty told me she would go grab me some warm blankets and I was to nap for one hour, letting the solution run all over my blood stream. I got comfy in my gurney as she covered me in blankets, turned off the lights and left the room. I removed my glasses and I tried napping but I always had one eye open. It was pretty quiet but I could hear doors opening and closing. After an hour, Betty comes in to tell me that time is up but the patient ahead of me has 15 minutes left so to hold tight.
Betty comes back and takes me to the scan room. I'm only dreading this because she says I have to lay still for 20 minutes. I have so much lung and belly fluid that I knew this was going to be challenging. At least when I was napping for an hour, the gurney was adjustable and was raised at an angle for me. I lay on the little bed and I have blankets wrapped over me, and I put my hands raised above my head. I can already feel my lungs going into turbo mode as they struggle to breathe. The scan is started and I'm slowly maneuvered in and out of the donut shaped machine for 20 long minutes. I try to relax and not think about what I'm doing. After all, this is the scan that will tell us if the cancer is growing or if the chemo is working. Once 20 minutes is up, a different tech comes in to tell me that the procedure is over. I tell him I'll need some help up since I'm feeling like a pregnant lady. He helps me up and leads me into a different waiting room where a radiologist checks to make sure the pictures are fine. He then comes back and tells me I'm free to go. I walk to the front waiting room where my sister is. It's now 4pm, two hours after my appointment. My sister and her boyfriend are such troopers for coming with me to these appointments. I know I would get bored.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my oncologist at 11am and she believes the radiologists report will be ready with my results. I am nervous. Wednesday would be my typical chemo day but it's up in the air because we need to know the status of my cancer. At the very least I am praying to God that it's stable. I don't want it to be growing, although I know that my cancer is very aggressive and sneaky. I highly doubt it has shrunk. But let's pray for that! I've had to think a lot about continuing treatment. This last chemo was very hard on me. I was constantly throwing up. Ended up in the ER twice. Went in for fluids multiple times. I just don't know what to think. My body is a tough cookie and as long as I'm not in pain (which thankfully has been controlled), bring it on cancer. We can play tough ball, cancer. I'm not going to quit this battle. I'm too much of a warrior to just give up. But at some point, I know I have to think about quality of life versus is chemo working and what is it doing to my body.
I truly am thankful to God for giving me another day to live. It's been a horrible past few months with more warriors earning their wings. Liza Blue was just 25 years old and passed away a few days ago. While I didn't interact with her too much, she was a young adult with cancer and us warriors stick together. My heart broke learning of her passing. I know she fought the good fight and was an inspiration to many. We truly do live in a world when we just never know when it is our time to go, so we should be thankful to whatever higher power we believe in for the opportunities we've been given. And we should also tell our loved ones how much we appreciate them and care about them. If it's too hard to say, then show it...vice versa.
So sorry there were no pictures in today's post. Was too afraid to take my phone in with me to the PET scan rooms. Radioactivity just scares me...even though it's in my body right now. Can't you see me glowing??? =)
