Chemo Infusion #6, Wednesday June 20, 2012

I have to admit.  Going into chemo #6, I was shaking in my boots.  I would sit here and recall chemo #5 and how horrible I felt.  The intense chemo brain.  Peeing my pants.  Running into walls.  Crying my eyes out the night of chemo.  I was so nauseous and nothing could comfort me. The pain medication wasn't working.  My ascites was in full force.  I remember thinking that if this is what my life was going to be like, then I didn't want to keep going.  I was ready to give up.  All I could do was take pill after pill, hoping it would work, hoping that I would fall asleep and wake up better. But it didn't.  There is three week period in between infusions and during that time I am on the chemo pill, Xeloda.  I felt miserable the entire time and during that time, I had found out that my cancer had grown.  I couldn't help but to think that my life expectancy had been dramatically cut.  I thought that the chemo wasn't working.  I was beginning to get hopeless.  But things are different today.  And I think I figured out why chemo #5 was so hard on my body.  Aredia.  Aredia is my bone treatment which is given to me intravenously every 4 weeks.  Never before has it overlapped with chemo but this time it did.  My oncologist said it was fine to be given both chemo and Aredia at the same time.  Since Aredia no longer causes me any side effects,  I had no apprehension about this.  The last time I had Aredia, I went in for an hour or so and left feeling fine.  The next day I was practically doing cart wheels. There was no more bone pain associated with my Aredia infusions.  I think that's what pushed me over the edge last time.  Aredia and chemo infusion on same day for Marta is not a good idea.  It's the only thing that I can think of.  To sum things up really quick, I had a great experience with chemo #6, maybe my best yet!

Pre chemo pills...lots and lots of anti nausea!

I took a shower Wednesday morning and packed my laptop into my back pack, along with a few snacks.  Every time I go in for chemo, it feels like I'm going away to day camp.  My sister made sure I packed enough water and we headed on out to Kaiser in South San Francisco.  She parked curbside and let me out.  I snuck on over to the cafe and bought myself a smoothie since I hadn't had breakfast.  I checked in for my appointment and they gave me my lovely wristband.  I took a seat and waited for my nurse to call me.  I was dressed kinda snazzy and one of the medical assistants came out to call her patients.  She saw me and came over to say hello and we chatted for a minute.  She told me I looked great.  And I felt great.  You couldn't tell at all that I have cancer.  Finally nurse Marita called me to the back and led me to my chair.  She apologized for the delay but they were looking over my lab numbers and they had to read my chart to verify that chemo was a go.  My oncologist does not work on Wednesday's so they just couldn't ask her.  I told her that although my neutrophils were low, my doctor had ordered a Neulasta shot for me on Thursday to boost my immune system.  She said that they eventually did read that in the notes.  I settled in the chair and Marita used a hot washcloth on my hands to entice my veins into coming out.  She attempted to start an IV on my left hand but it didn't work.  She bandaged me up.  She asked head nurse Cynthia for advice and they found another vein on my left arm.  Marita attempted to start an IV but she missed again.  She bandaged me up.  At this point, my heart was breaking thinking that I was never going to get chemo because my veins were not cooperating.  I asked them not to use my right arm because of the blood clot I had in it earlier in the week and also the swelling that was associated with it.  Marita asked Cynthia to start the IV this last time.

Two failed attempts and no IV started. 

I had faith in Cynthia since after all she is the charge nurse. She chose a vein in on top of my hand and I mentally did a happy dance when she got the IV started!  I wasn't too happy to be getting poked for a third time but I really need this chemo.  My neighbor to my right had her TV on and was watching Maury so that distracted me while I was getting the needle shoved into my arm.  Marita went ahead and gave me my dose of Epirubicin followed by magnesium and fluids.  I sipped on my smoothie and I took my laptop out.  My goal for the day was to write one of the many blog ideas I had in my head.  I was going to be in the chair for 6 hours so this seemed doable. I told Marita and Cynthia that I was scheduled to get my port placed next Wednesday, June 27th and that we wouldn't have to go through this again.  They were delighted to hear this.  I asked Cynthia how soon after the port is placed could we use it.  She told me the next day.  I brought this up because I was scheduled to have my Aredia infusion on the following Tuesday, the 26th, and if accessing my veins was going to be another battle,  I would rather reschedule Aredia for after I get the port.  Cynthia agreed with this and changed my Aredia infusion to the Friday after my port is placed, the 29th.  I remember one of the girls in my support group telling me to ask for numbing cream that I could use 45 minutes before my port is accessed with a needle.  They said that I wouldn't feel the needle stick. I asked Cynthia about this and she said it was Lidocaine cream.  She would get a prescription of this sent to the pharmacy for me and I'd be able to pick it up after today's chemo.  She also told me about how since my next follow up appointment with my oncologist is on July 10th, she would schedule me with one of the nurses afterwards to have my pre chemo blood draw.  She told me to remember to use the numbing cream and that they would leave the needle in, that way I wouldn't have to get a second needle sick when I came in the next day for chemo.  I got another tip from one of the ladies in my support group to use Press n Seal wrap on the needle site and keep it well wrapped so that I would be able to take a shower if I wanted to.  I was so grateful for the advice that the nurses were giving me and also the helpful tips from my support group.

Score! The IV is in!

I started checking my Facebook and opened up my blog to start writing.  I had brought a protein bar with me but it didn't see at all appetizing so I sent my sister a text to see if she was still in the area.  Luckily she was around nearby shopping and I asked her to bring me something by. She told me she was going to bring me greek food from Daphne's Cafe.  I looked at their online menu and went with a falafel.  I did go back to eating chicken and turkey after becoming vegetarian about two months ago, but I do not eat beef or pork.  I just don't like the taste nor the texture.  My sister finally came and I gobbled down the falafel.  Only halfway through I started to question the meat.  The wrapper was not labeled.  I soon realized that I was not in fact eating a falafel nor was it even chicken.  I text my sister and told her that she gave me the wrong food and she better tell me it was chicken so I don't kill her!  I stopped eating in my tracks.  I lost my appetite.  I was mildly angry that Daphne's didn't label their food but what can you expect when you have a bunch of kids running a restaurant?

I start my dose of Cisplatin and this is the chemo drug that everyone says is hard on their body. I don't want to jinx myself but Cisplatin hasn't been too hard on me.  I actually think Cisplatin is a strong piece of my army and that is what has helped eradicate cancer from my lymph nodes.

From the corner of my eye, I see a lady walk in with two dogs.  I start to get excited as I know it's animal therapy time!  While I am a HUGE cat lover, I also did grow up with dogs and love them dearly. I can't have any of my own as I have a two pet limit and also dogs require more attention than cats (and the fact that Molly and Dash would hate me if I brought a dog home).  The dogs started out with my neighbors to my right and I patiently waited for my turn.  And then suddenly, I had a little dog and a yellow lab at my seat.  Ginger and Cricket.  Cricket sat on my lap and she was so cute.  The perfect size of dog that I wanted.  I had her handler take a pic of us.  Next, Ginger came up and said hello.  She is an amazingly calm yellow lab.  I love labs.  Growing up I had the most chill black lab.  They are great companion dogs.  We took a picture together and the dogs moved over to the rest of the patients in the infusion center.  I learned that they visit us every Wednesday and luckily for me, my chemo's are scheduled on Wednesdays.

Cricket!

Ginger!

Finally at around 4pm, Marita took the IV out and I packed up to go home.  I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up my Lidocaine cream and I met my sister in the parking lot and we headed home.

For the rest of the evening, I lounged around in my pajamas and I made sure to take my anti nausea meds on time.  Overall I felt pretty good.  The next day, upon waking, I took all of my medications and tried going back to sleep.  My energy was pretty low and I didn't have much of an appetite.  My friend Taylor stopped by and brought me a smoothie, which is my go to food for after chemo days.  I was feeling a bit of the nausea but I kept on my med schedule and it wasn't too bad.  Later that evening, I was to take a Neulasta shot.  I heard about bone pain associated with this.  My doctor had explained to me something about the white blood cells being made in the bone marrow and that's why there's bone pain.  So if I get bone pain, that means it was working.  Another tip I picked up from my support group is that Claritin D helps with the bone pain.  So in addition to the morphine I was taking, I was well prepared to battle the bone pain.  I don't know the retail value of Neulasta but it is a very expensive drug.  Seeing that without insurance on picking up my last refills, it would have cost me $7K altogether.  And I know Xeloda is also one of those expensive drugs.  I've heard Neulasta costs somewhere between $3-7K per injection.  I was surprised that they let me take it home and do it myself, but I guess I am an expert on self injections now that I do Lovenox nightly.  Neulasta is to be injected 24 hours after chemotherapy.  About an hour before I was ready to do the shot, I took it out of the fridge and let it thaw a little, as per the advice of nurse Marita.  I did not want that cold liquid in my belly.  I had my sister give me the injection since I didn't want to deal with the head drama I give myself.  The next day, I woke up feeling sore.  It was an overall soreness in my body and I continued to take my pain meds and anti nausea.  Overall, it really wasn't bad and I didn't think I had any horrible side effects.  

It is now 6 days after my last chemo and I've got to tell you, I feel great.  I did stay indoors all weekend because I know my body.  Even though I was feeling good, my body does not agree and I am more likely to get dizzy, get feverish, and pass out.  I don't need the extra drama so I prefer to stay indoors and take it easy.  Earlier today I was able to make a quick trip to the post office and then off to get a pedicure.  It was quite uneventful as I didn't pass out on anybody.  Tomorrow, in several hours, I will be heading off to Kaiser in South San Francisco go get my port placement surgery.  I will be asleep and won't feel a thing and have 100% confidence in the doctors and staff.  I'm very excited about this because it's only going to make my chemo infusions much easier to receive.  I plan on battling cancer for a long time and if getting a port makes it easy, I'm all for it.  Cancer may have tripped me up a couple a time within these past weeks but I'm not worried.  I'm fully confident in my treatment plan and cancer hasn't seen me pull out the big guns.  Just wait, Cancer, you haven't even seen the tip of the ice burg when it comes to what I've got.  You've been warned and I'm ready to fight like hell!