PET Scan #3...Results Pending

Yesterday I arrived home from my trip to WA state.  I was really worried about my flight home because I had woken up to nausea and vomiting.  My flight left at 11:30am and so I had to wake up early, pack, and say my goodbyes.  I didn't even take a shower.  I just was not feeling up for anything.  I didn't have anything to eat because I was afraid of throwing it up.  My sister in law, Teresa, gave me some ice chips.  She truly is an awesome caregiver and was totally there for me through out my stay.  My little nephews (8 and 12 years old) also did a good job of fetching me anything I needed and keeping me company.  

It was a short 35 minute flight from Pasco to Seattle where I had a wheel chair waiting for me.  My driver zipped through Sea-Tac airport and got me to my next gate where I had to wait a little over an hour for my next flight to SFO.  I was able to eat some pretzels and Sobe out of the vending machine with no problem.  Once they were boarding for my flight, I walked right up to the podium and asked if I could board since I am disabled and I got on.  I had a window seat and popped an Ativan to help with my nausea and just to knock me out for the two hour flight home.  Unfortunately, I had a rude lady sit by me who kept hitting me and invading my personal space and she didn't even apologize.  Thought that was a bit rude.  Luckily I didn't need my barf bag and I slept the entire flight.  At SFO, I had another wheel chair waiting for my and my driver took me to baggage claim and then waited with me curb side for my sister.  Those wheel chairs are a lifesaver! 

When I arrived home, I just went to sleep and my sister prepared me a dinner of rice and corn.  I was able to eat the whole thing.  I was very proud of myself.  She had to wake me up later for my nightly Lovenox shot and pills, but then I went right back to bed.  This morning I didn't have any nausea, thank God.  I was afraid that I would have to call the oncology department and get fluids before my 2pm PET scan but I didn't.  I just rested up until noon when I finally got up to take a shower.  I called state disability to see if they had received my paperwork yet and they hadn't!  I also noticed that the form I submitted was different from what I received in the mail after I left for my trip.  So now I don't know where I stand.  I emailed my doctor and she said the forms hadn't even hit her desk yet.  I'm annoyed!  I don't know what's taking those medical secretaries so long.  It's a ticking clock and I am without money that is owed to me by the state.  My doctor just told me to bring the forms to our visit on Tuesday and she'll take care of me.  Now do you see why I love her so much?  She truly is the best.  I had also called the medical assistants three times this morning to schedule a paracentesis with the nurse practitioner but no one would answer the phone so I left a message.  I also mentioned this to my oncologist and she said she would have her nurse take care of it.  I spoke with the nurse this afternoon who said she was still working on it but most likely it was looking like Wednesday I'll be getting my belly drained again.  I can wait; not a problem.  I'm looking forward to the relief.  

My sister's boyfriend drove us to the hospital at Kaiser Santa Clara where I did my PET scan.  We arrived 15 minutes early and I checked in.  At 2pm, the tech, Betty (pretty, young girl), called me back to the room.  She verified my identity, confirmed that I hadn't had anything to eat in 6 hours, and we got started.  She did a quick glucose test on me and I was at 100 which meant that we could proceed.  She was able to use my midline to inject the radioactive solution.  Hooray for no needle sticks!!!  She brings back this giant metal cylinder which hold the radioactive solution and injects it into my midline.  It was so easy.  Betty told me she would go grab me some warm blankets and I was to nap for one hour, letting the solution run all over my blood stream.  I got comfy in my gurney as she covered me in blankets, turned off the lights and left the room.  I removed my glasses and I tried napping but I always had one eye open. It was pretty quiet but I could hear doors opening and closing.  After an hour, Betty comes in to tell me that time is up but the patient ahead of me has 15 minutes left so to hold tight.  

Betty comes back and takes me to the scan room.  I'm only dreading this because she says I have to lay still for 20 minutes.  I have so much lung and belly fluid that I knew this was going to be challenging.  At least when I was napping for an hour, the gurney was adjustable and was raised at an angle for me.  I lay on the little bed and I have blankets wrapped over me, and I put my hands raised above my head.  I can already feel my lungs going into turbo mode as they struggle to breathe.  The scan is started and I'm slowly maneuvered in and out of the donut shaped machine for 20 long minutes.  I try to relax and not think about what I'm doing.  After all, this is the scan that will tell us if the cancer is growing or if the chemo is working.  Once 20 minutes is up, a different tech comes in to tell me that the procedure is over.  I tell him I'll need some help up since I'm feeling like a pregnant lady.  He helps me up and leads me into a different waiting room where a radiologist checks to make sure the pictures are fine.  He then comes back and tells me I'm free to go.   I walk to the front waiting room where my sister is.  It's now 4pm, two hours after my appointment.  My sister and her boyfriend are such troopers for coming with me to these appointments.  I know I would get bored. 

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my oncologist at 11am and she believes the radiologists report will be ready with my results.  I am nervous.  Wednesday would be my typical chemo day but it's up in the air because we need to know the status of my cancer.  At the very least I am praying to God that it's stable.  I don't want it to be growing, although I know that my cancer is very aggressive and sneaky.  I highly doubt it has shrunk.  But let's pray for that!  I've had to think a lot about continuing treatment.  This last chemo was very hard on me.  I was constantly throwing up.  Ended up in the ER twice.  Went in for fluids multiple times.  I just don't know what to think.  My body is a tough cookie and as long as I'm not in pain (which thankfully has been controlled), bring it on cancer.  We can play tough ball, cancer.  I'm not going to quit this battle.  I'm too much of a warrior to just give up.  But at some point, I know I have to think about quality of life versus is chemo working and what is it doing to my body.  

I truly am thankful to God for giving me another day to live.  It's been a horrible past few months with more warriors earning their wings.  Liza Blue was just 25 years old and passed away a few days ago.  While I didn't interact with her too much, she was a young adult with cancer and us warriors stick together.  My heart broke learning of her passing.  I know she fought the good fight and was an inspiration to many.  We truly do live in a world when we just never know when it is our time to go, so we should be thankful to whatever higher power we believe in for the opportunities we've been given.  And we should also tell our loved ones how much we appreciate them and care about them.  If it's too hard to say, then show it...vice versa.  

So sorry there were no pictures in today's post.  Was too afraid to take my phone in with me to the PET scan rooms.  Radioactivity just scares me...even though it's in my body right now.  Can't you see me glowing??? =)

Greetings From Othello, WA

Hi Everyone!
Just wanted to write a quick note from my parent's house in Othello, WA to let everyone know that I'm having a great time here.  It's a tiny little town that I grew up in but I've come to appreciate it more today than ever before.  I've been able to hang out with a few childhood friends and it's been great.  I want to remind everyone that my thank you BBQ/Kicking Cancer's Butt Party is this Saturday at my parents house.  You can email me or reach me on my team page on FB for more details or for an address.  Everyone is invited.  I also want to send a big thank you out to those who have donated to my fundraiser.  I am only paying essential bills (rent/car/insurance) now and your donations are helping me with my copays and any ER copays I need to have in reserve.  I've been feeling pretty good, although I did have vomiting this morning.  It's just become apart of my life.  Who knew those Compazine suppositories would be my lifesavers in controlling my nausea.  I'm also filled back up with a lot of belly fluid and my lung also has a lot of fluid in it, too.  When I get back, I have an appointment with my oncologist on August 22nd, where I will go over my PET scan results and also discuss getting permanent catheters placed in my lung and belly so that I am able to drain them at home at my convenience.  This will save me being poked by a needle each time and also a copay each time.  I've accepted that I'm just not "normal" anymore and I just want to be as comfortable as possible.  Besides, I'll be able to hide them with my clothes.

Well, I'm off to bed and I think I'll watch a movie (Rio) with my nephews.  I'm savoring these precious moments I have with my family and I'm glad that I feel good enough to travel.  It has been a real blessing and I thank God for allowing me to take this trip. I'll update everyone when I get back and post lots of pics.  I haven't forgotten my other blogs posts, too.  I still want to tell you all about my birthday and share those pics as well.

Check out my team page on FB for daily updates or better yet my personal FB page.

Much Love,
Marta

www.facebook.com/TeamMartaOfficial
www.facebook.com/marcam

Time for a Paracentesis...catheter to the belly!

I first want to say thanks to those of you who have donated to my cause.  Any little amount helps me out with my co-pays and medical expenses.  From the bottom of my heart, I truly thank you.

After my eventful week of a trip to the ER and having to visit Kaiser on Tuesday and Thursday for IV fluids and IV anti-nausea, I decided to also get a paracentesis done Thursday afternoon.  Paracentesis is very similar to the thoracentesis I have had to my pleural cavity except this is for my belly.  I have been able to manage the fluid build up in my belly by using Lasix but I was just so exhausted and afraid of taking any pills by mouth that I just gave in.  I was very afraid to have this done because I thought that they were going to pick the fattest part of my tummy and shove a catheter through it.  This is not the case at all.  I had asked my oncologist about how the procedure is performed at my last visit with her on July 31st and she told me that they usually go in on either the right or left lower quadrant of the belly.  I can usually tell when I have a lot of fluid build up by monitoring my weight. It's amazing how fast the belly fluid collects.  It was making me feel like I was walking around with a pregnant belly.  When I lay on my back, it also makes it hard for me to breathe.  And lastly, my clothes don't fit right.  Makes me feel like I should be shopping the maternity section.

My Thursday started at Kaiser at 10:45am when I had to go in for more fluids.  I had been throwing up the day before and so I had called just before closing to speak with nurse Jennifer about setting me up for fluids since I knew I was very dehydrated. It's nice that when I walk into the oncology department, the receptionists know my name and are already to register me in.  Nurse Elsie called me to the back and I asked her if I could hop on the scale real quick to see how my belly fluid was doing.  It was amazing that I was weighing more than I usually do when I had not eaten anything since Sunday.  Elsie led me to the back of the infusion center where there is a private room with two chairs.  Luckily, I was the only one in there.  I asked Elsie if I could speak with my oncologist, Dr. R, so I can let her know how I was doing.  Moments later she appeared.  I told her about how I was having major bouts of nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.  The pain seemed to be control by the fentanyl patches but I was having more frequent break through pain.  She suggested that I take Decadron, which is a steroid I normally take during chemo only, for my nausea in addition to my Zofran or Compazine.  She told me it was ok to add one more fentanyl patch, and to make sure I was dating them so I wouldn't confuse them and would know exactly when to change them.  If I was still having break through pain, I could resort to taking the Dilaudid pills or liquid morphine.  I prefer Dilaudid because it's stronger and the liquid morphine tastes yucky.  Fortunately, when I have break through pain, which is about twice a day, it goes away within 15 minutes with the Dilaudid.  My pain is now managed very well.

Another round of fluids. Feeling like mush.

Elsie hooks my midline up to the IV and starts me on fluids and IV Zofran.  Because my potassium level is low, she double checks with Dr. R about giving me potassium through my IV.   Potassium infusion will take a few hours and I don't mind so they go ahead and give it to me.  It beats taking those darn horse pills that I was prescribed.  My sister decides to go do a bit of shopping and grab a bite to eat so I try to take a nap in the chair.  It's kinda noisy because I'm near the nurses station and they are discussing what they are going to have for lunch and who's going to go get it.  I don't mind though because I do enough sleeping as is and I adore the chemo nurses.  Dr. R had felt my belly earlier and said that while it felt soft, I could have a paracentesis if I was feeling uncomfortable.  I told her I was ready for it and she spoke to nurse Jennifer about having nurse practitioner Kelly do it for me.  I love Kelly.  She backs up my oncologist when she's not there and is a great woman.  By 2:30pm, I am all done with my fluids and since Jennifer is out at lunch, I'm not sure what time to come back for my paracentesis.  I tell Elsie that I'll be in the area and just have Jennifer call me.  My sister and I head on over to Costco to pick up my glasses.  We then decide to stop by Starbucks for a quick drink but Jennifer calls and asks me to head on over to radiology now for an ultrasound so that they can mark my belly with the site to where the catheter will go in.  Afterwards I am to head back to the oncology center.

My new, cool glasses!

My sister does a quick U-turn and we valeted the car.  I grab a wheelchair and have my sister push me to radiology.  I'm feeling exhausted.  We arrive at radiology, register and very quickly I'm called back.  The tech takes me into a dark lit room and I expose my belly.  She applies jelly on it and does her thing.  I'm watching the monitor and she tells me about how the dark spots are all fluid.  She finds two sites on my belly but goes ahead and calls a doctor back to double check her work.  They use a marker to draw two X's, one on my left side and one on my right.  I'm then let go and my sister wheels me on over to oncology.  I register and medical assistant Maria calls me on to the back procedure room.  She takes my vitals and has me sign a waiver acknowledging the procedure and risks.  I have my sister with me because I know I'll need to squeeze her hand once the needle goes in.  NP Kelly comes in and she starts getting ready.  She tells me about the risks but she's been doing these for 15 years so I know I'm in good hands. I show her the X's on my belly and she chooses the right side and has me lay down on the gurney.  She asks me if I want some Ativan and of course I do!  Nurse Elsie brings me some in and I stick them under my tongue, letting them dissolve.  I close my eyes to relax and my sister talks with Kelly, which is distracting me for the events about to happen.

At ultrasound marking the catheter site.

Medical Assistant taking my vitals

The set up!

Kelly is all set up, ready to go, and I am too.  She injects me with Lidocaine and the needle hurts.  Lidocaine stings.  I squeeze my sister's hand tightly.  Next, she takes a longer, thinner needle and injects me some more with Lidocaine.  I do some more hand torturing to my sister.  Somewhere along the line, she removes the needle and now I have this catheter in me.  Kelly hooks it up to the vacuum sealed jars waiting on the floor.  I'm fine now.  No pain.  No shock-like feeling like the thoracentesis made me feel before.  I'm ok.  I lay there relaxing and we just wait for the jars to fill up.  We all continue talking and soon I'm on the 3rd container.  I am amazed that I have that much belly fluid in me.  When I had my pleural cavity drained, that only filled about one and a third containers.  Obviously my belly is a much bigger cavity.  I can feel my belly slowly deflating and I take a peak down to where the catheter is sticking out of my body.  I don't freak out.  I look at my belly and I notice my pelvic tumor staring at me.  I give it a feel and I know it has grown.  It is definitely at least the size of a cantaloupe.  I fill up the 3 jars and a tiny bit of a fourth and Kelly tells me that we're going to stop.  I'm anxious as she pulls out the catheter but it doesn't hurt.  I made it! I survived!  There's no need to do cytology on the fluid since it's the same stuff as what was collected from my lung.  I just stare at the jars in amazement.  Paracenthesis isn't so bad.  It's actually quite easy and Kelly says I can have it done as often as I need to and like.  Before, it would take me a few days to pee all this fluid out.  Might have to rethink that now.  Kelly applies a glue to the catheter site to prevent any leaking and bandages me up.  I'm ready to go home.  I hop on the scale on the way out and see that I've lost 8 lbs, putting me back to my normal weight. Hooray!

Before: my water baby!

X marks the spot.

During.  Calm as a cucumber!

That is what came out of my belly! 3300 cc's!

By evening time, I'm feeling good.  I think it's a combination of the IV fluids and the draining of my belly.  I try to eat solids and I'm successful.  I don't vomit.  Huge victory for me.  The next morning, I'm feeling great.  There is no more nausea, vomiting, or pain.  I feel like having a solo dance party.  I can't believe how amazing I feel.  I'm so thankful for Dr. R, Kelly, and the nurses for helping me survive chemo #8.  My faith is restored that there is hope for me.  It was a horrible roller coaster ride, but I made it.  I take it easy that day as I do not want to overwhelm myself and have to put my Washington trip on hold.  I am to fly out on Tuesday and come back the following Sunday.  I lay low indoors.  At this rate, I will make my flight!  I also have my PET scan to look forward to when I return, on August 20th.  I am hoping and praying that my cancer is at the very least stable.  Better news would be that it is shrinking.  I know that sometimes it feels like chemo is about to very damn well kill me but I have to say that it is worth it.  I may have puked my guts out and felt the most excruciating pain I have ever felt, but I'm a warrior and that's part of the job.  A big hug and thank you to my sister for helping me through this roller coaster week. I know it wasn't easy watching me go through that but having her there for me really made it more manageable. I'm slowly letting her in more on my care as I realize that I can't do this by myself.  It's hard feeling like I'm losing my independence but I know that having someone else manage my care sure makes this journey a whole lot easier.

After: feeling deflated and good.

Although I am feeling good right now, I can't help but to think about the things that I won't get to do.  It seems like about every 4 weeks, my pleural cavity is filling up with fluid, causing me to be short of breath.  This means that I have to start pulling out my wheelchair whether I like it or not.  I think about the Cabo trip that I wanted to take with my sister's and how it probably won't happen just because my health is not that great.  I want to go to Disneyland so bad but I'm afraid to travel down there and wait in long lines.  I'll need my wheelchair to get me through that for sure.  But instead of focusing on the things that I feel like I'm being robbed of, I try to think of the things that I do have and what's really important.  I have my family and I have my fur babies.  I have my friends.  Really great friends.  Even if it's just a fashion show that I'm putting on for Molly and Dash, I try to make the most of my moments. I'm hoping and praying with all my heart that we find a cure.  Not just for my cancer, but for all cancers.  I won't lose that hope.  Not that easily.

Fashion show with Dash, who loved my dress.

Precious moments, playing hide n seek with the cats.